Wow. I can’t help but think back to just a short time ago when I made the decision to either get out of my comfort zone and do something relevant with myself or fade away into the vast darkness I found myself living in. I realized that my many fears had been holding me back most of my life. In fact, I was paralyzed with fear. Fear of who I was, fear of what I wasn’t. Fear of not being good enough or fitting in. Fear of all the failures and mistakes that I felt defined me. The old records played over and over. Tunes singing in my head of not being smart enough, strong enough, or just enough had taken over every pore of my being. My walls were high and impenetrable. I was hiding from my own shadow. And, if there was a picture next to the word, “insecure” in Webster’s Dictionary, I was certain that it would be mine. Yes, I finally realized that I had become my greatest obstacle. And, I wanted out.
It was time to let go of notions of who I believed I was, who I was told I was. I mean, how long can a person stay comfortable being so uncomfortable? Only I could make the change within myself. Only I could make the decision to leave my comfort box of shame and inadequacy and take a chance on myself. So, I began to write, just like I wanted to do from the time I was five. I covered my ears from the words, “YOU CAN’T” and asked myself, WHY CAN’T I? And, so began my journey into StaceyInsideOut where my dream was to move people, inspire, shed hope and create laughter where there was none.
But there I was, facing self-imposed obstacles. What if I did not reach anyone? What if my words were conceived as childish, ignorant, worthless? WHAT IF? So, What If? The “What If’s” did not matter anymore. The “What If’s” were just bricks in my self-made wall of insecurities. I had to break them down, one by one, story by story, poem by poem.
I did not care anymore about being safely uncomfortable. It was time to take a chance on Stacey.
StaceyInsideOut has taught me one of the greatest lessons. Through this journey, I have realized that I am really no different than you. My fears are your years and we are all filled with insecurities, self-doubt, unrealized dreams. I am not alone. We all want to laugh and want to be loved, we care about humanity and we are all just as scared, for different reasons maybe, but certainly just as scared.
So, welcome to StaceyInsideOut. I am a mom, a friend and a survivor of the unimaginable; someone with a story to tell. I am a humanitarian, a champion for women, children, elders and animals. I believe in a higher power and find solace in its presence. On these pages, I will share my innermost thoughts … things I find to be incredibly bizarre, thought provoking, whimsical and sometimes serious. I will speak right from my heart, from years of experience and it is my hope that you take away with you some inspiration and perhaps, with luck, some peace of mind. Consider me a friend and please join me for an exhilarating ride!