How to Forgive with Gratitude

By April 27, 2015recommends
1) Forgive Yourself First!

Many of us hold onto a plethora of negative emotions simply because we have yet to forgive.  Sure, we have all made mistakes and some of them may continue to make a negative impact in our lives and the world around us.  But here is the truth…guilt does nothing more than negatively impact our psyche and our health, so what is the point?  For those of you who opt to feel guilty because you are punishing yourself, let’s break that cycle today and begin the process of forgiveness.

Forgive with Gratitude:  Take the time that you need to write a list of what you feel guilty about.  Purge your truth.  Take one or more item on your list and answer the following:

-What did this experience teach you about yourself?

-How can you be grateful for this learning experience?

Whatever you have been done, has happened and the very best we can do with it is learn.  Your life and your actions are inseparable from who you are.  Some of your most profound learning experiences arise because of mistakes.   You are not the same person you were when the mistake happened.  You cannot change the past, but you can grow into the person you want to be.

Below what you have written, write down a quick sentence on how you are different from the person you made the mistake.  Who are you in this moment?

And forgive that person, because you are no longer the same.  You are wiser because of your experiences and it is pointless to hold onto negative emotions towards a prior version of yourself.  We can all forgive our former selves because it is no longer who we are.  We have all grown and we all deserve to be the best version of ourselves.

Forgiveness is to breathe the moment that is before you and to exhale what no longer serves you.  It allows us to rise above our mistakes and gives us the freedom to be happy.

2) Forgive Others…

When we have forgiven ourselves, forgiving others suddenly becomes a lot easier.  They too are not the same person who we continue to blame.  They too have changed.  We choose forgive others, not because they “deserve” it, but because we deserve freedom from the negativity.  If we do not forgive others, the only person we are harming is ourselves.  Choose to forgive because YOU deserve freedom.

How to Forgive others with Gratitude:

Write a letter to whom you are angry with.   Keep in mind that you don’t have to actually give it, just write it.  In this letter, tell them exactly why you are angry.  What have they done to wrong you?  After you have done that, write down what this particular experience has taught you about yourself?  What positive lessons has this challenging scenario given you?  How can you be grateful?  Even our most challenging circumstances teach us something.

Next, write down “I forgive you.”  Take some time to read the letter and let it go.  Choose to focus on the positive aspects (your learning experiences) and allow this message of growth pervade your truth.

Do what you want with the letter! Burn it, rip it up etc.

The next time you begin to feel angry towards that person, in your mind return to the lesson that you learned.  Be grateful for the teaching and move on.

A Few Mantras to Tell Yourself:

I forgive myself because I deserve a heart and mind full of love.

I only have room in my life for positive energy.

I love myself and who I have become.

I am growing into the best version of myself.

I do not judge myself, I do not judge others.

I forgive myself, I forgive others.

Today, I am a better person than who I was yesterday.

Courtesy of “The Letters of Gratitude”

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