Just Trust Yourself

By May 9, 2018blog

I woke up today, thinking about the power of self-trust.  Through months and months of introspection, days and nights without sleep, I can’t help but wonder why I have had such limited power to trust in myself.   I finally think I have figured it out.

Curiously, I wonder, what does happen when one starts to live their true self?  Definitely, fear sets in.  How do you become the person you were born to be?   It feels as though I have spent most of my life trying to do what is expected of me, knowing that stepping out of my role would cause great consternation on the parts of people around me.  By trusting in myself, I may expose the somber existence that others are still clinging to.

Why do I have the need to get approval and justification for making big decisions for myself?  Am I seeking counsel from others as a way to seek encouragement or validation?  Or have I been seeking the ability to blame someone else’s instincts just in case something goes wrong with my decisions?  But, I realize, relying on spiritual leaders, psychotherapists, or my friends to help me “decide” just makes me more reliant on others, again, releasing myself from taking responsibility for making my own major life decisions.

Remaining in a constant state of indecision has proven to be extremely draining on me.  Indecision causes stress.   Perhaps, I have been so wrapped up looking outside of myself for an answer that I completely forgot that I am capable of making a decision for myself.  I have to learn to trust in my ability to handle whatever life throws at me.  No matter what, I need to make the big decisions about my life on my own.  If I don’t have the self-trust that I need, then I will always be walking around in a state of fear, in a cloud of dependence.

So, just stop with the constant voices that say I am not enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not young enough.  At the core level, I must know that I am enough.  Maybe I don’t have all the answers, but who really does?

Looking forward, what will be for me?  I am dark and I am light.  I am joy and I am sadness.  I am strong, yet very weak.  I can think, but my mind plays games with me.  I stand at the cliff with the dark sea below.  I honestly don’t know how to swim.  I have no choice, but to jump and trust the water, hopefully it won’t be too cold because the cold water scares me the most.  And, I will learn to swim.   If I don’t learn how to swim, I can find a rock and grab a hold of it.  If I lose my balance from the rock, I will dog paddle and find the shore.  I will be breathing heavy and shaking, but I will make it to the sand.  Who knows, there could even be a boat out there in the distance.  This is my life; my decisions and I don’t need permission.  I trust me.

So, now, I am reminded of an old song by one of my favorite artists, Bob Dylan.  The song is called, “Trust Yourself.”  Here are the lyrics and video.  Have fun and remember, to thy own self be true!

 

“Trust Yourself”
Bob Dylan

Trust yourself
Trust yourself to do the things that only you know best
Trust yourself
Trust yourself to do what’s right and not be second-guessed
Don’t trust me to show you beauty
When beauty may only turn to rust
If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself
Trust yourself
Trust yourself to know the way that will prove true in the end
Trust yourself
Trust yourself to find the path where there is no if and when
Don’t trust me to show you the truth
When the truth may only be ashes and dust
If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself
Well, you’re on your own, you always were
In a land of wolves and thieves
Don’t put your hope in ungodly man
Or be a slave to what somebody else believes
Trust yourself
And you won’t be disappointed when vain people let you down
Trust yourself
And look not for answers where no answers can be found
Don’t trust me to show you love
When my love may be only lust
If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself