I wake up every day and I am grateful. There must be a reason I was given another day. Hmm. What is one to do with this new bright day? One would think the answer is easy, have fun, be at peace, etc. Well, I don’t attack the day that way. I guess the use of the word “attack” says it all. I have adopted this “Dorey” like attitude to each day, got to keep on moving, got to be productive; like a mere few hours of truly peaceful time will somehow derail my whole being. So, I work, I write, I volunteer, I have friends I meet with and help out and, of course, I try to get some good time in with my kids and family. Each of these activities should be peaceful and fulfilling, except I am always focused on what I am not accomplishing.
Seriously now, is this the way it is supposed to be? Is this what being “productive” means? Is this what I am grateful for? Does every day need to be “productive”? I wonder how many of us measure the value of our days based on how productive we are, as though life itself was actually about being productive.
After giving myself the productivity test for the week, I see that my idea of being productive really means getting results. So, every day and with every task, there is a beginning, a middle, and an end — a result. Lost in this result oriented approach is the actual fulfillment in the activity, irrespective of the result. We all want good to come from our deeds, but we often lose sight of the fulfillment of simply doing. So while I doubt I can change this ingrained habit, I hope to actually slow down a bit, and allow myself to just do, not because it has to be done, but because the living is in the doing, not in the result.
I have been living for the moment and that is not the same as living in the moment. I think I just felt a knock on my head. Have I been sacrificing the present by constantly trying to create a better, more fulfilling future? Who knows if I’ll even have a future.
I need to stop thinking that I need to do so many things in a day and realize that my productivity should be thought of as time well spent, not in the number of things I have accomplished. In other words, did I spend the hours of my day in a way that was a valuable use of my time? The most “productive” gift I think we can give ourselves is the appreciation of just being alive in the moment. We can forget about all the chaos and all the to do’s we are blessed with, just for a few moments and be grateful for who we are and all that we already have. Maybe it is not “productive, but, it could be considered “unproductively” productive. This is time well spent. This seems better than spending an entire day getting things done. Now, let’s see if I can practice what I preach!